'I regret having a baby, it ruined a huge part of my life and now I'm stuck'

Parenting is no walk in the park, and everyone's journey is different, but for some, welcoming children is far from what they ever expected. One woman has bravely opened up about being a mum and admitted she "regrets" having children.

The single mum to her 13-year-old son shared in a Reddit post titled "I regret becoming a parent", that she feels "terrible for this" but said, "I hate it most of the time." The 41-year-old shared: "Becoming a parent has ruined me mentally, financially and physically, and has completely derailed my career."

She explained: "I always knew from a young age that I didn't want kids, I didn't want to be a mum, but got pregnant at 27 because of an intrusive thought that went something like 'I'm almost 30, I don't want to wake up in 10 years at nearly 40 and regret NOT having kids and it being too late'. Stupid stupid stupid! I've woken up after 14 years and regret giving in to that thought.

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"I suffered PPD [postpartum depression] which my ex didn't care about and led to his cheating and our divorce within the first year of our sons life. It remained untreated for almost a decade and became severe clinical depression. I had to leave my job after I gave birth and go into part time office work and have only just recently (2 years ago) started full time work again - half a normal salary as a single parent is f**king hard I swear. Not to mention the depression left me with no motivation for life so I went from being the fittest I've even been in my life the year I got pregnant to being quite literally twice the person I was before, I'm obese and so unfit I struggle to walk up the stairs.

"How much different my life would be if I had dumped my cheating a** ex and just stayed a single, childless woman."

The woman expanded: "A few people interpret my feelings of regret to mean I hate or blame my child or assume I mistreat him. None of this is true. I love my son. I don't blame him for the decisions I've made, I never have, and I don't blame my ex either. I don't mistreat or neglect my son (I'm aware that emotional absence is a form of neglect and corrected that behaviour a long time ago but what's done is done, you can't change the past, only improve in the future). I support and encourage and am there for my child in every way that I can be. He has a great relationship with his dad, and despite our separation and my initial feelings around his actions, we co-parent like a dreamteam and always have.

"I'm getting the feeling that a lot of people had horrible childhoods and are projecting their negative feelings towards their own parents, and the actions of their own parents onto me, and creating a narrative more similar to their own experiences. I'm sorry that happened to you, but that's not what's happening to my son. My son knows he's loved by BOTH of his parents, and we do have a great relationship. How I feel about parenthood has no impact on how I treat my son."

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The incredibly honest post was met with numerous comments offering support, and others sharing their own feelings. One wrote: "I’m glad you’re saying it because this is incredibly common and people who are reinforcing the stigma here need to recognise that they would be shocked by the number of people who honestly regret having their children. Telling them off for it isn’t going to help anyone."

A second penned: "I’m child free, but reading your story brought tears to my eyes. You are very strong and an amazing mother. Your kid is very lucky to have you. You are 10000 times better than those instagram moms who only do it for show."

"Wow you’re an amazing mom and such a good person. I hope you realise how strong and resilient you are! I hope you and your son have a very good life," a third shared.

Another added: "I get it. I as a kid I always knew I didn’t want children, too. Everyone would tell me that when I grew up I’d find a nice man and change my mind. When I was in my late 20s I started to get the same fear that I may regret having a child once it’s too late. It’s been 5 years and I still don’t want children and am glad I don’t have any. Single and childless women consistently show up to be the happiest demographic group."

For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email: jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.