Seven signs someone is pretending to be your friend, according to a psychologist

A psychologist has named seven signs someone is pretending to be your friend. Building and maintaining a friendship can be one of the most rewarding things you can do - but also one of the hardest, depending on the person.

Friendship is crucial in our lives, an important part of building self-esteem and identity. A good friend can help us overcome difficulties, share joys, and build a shared life path.

However, sometimes what we consider a true friendship turns out to be nothing more than a toxic relationship. These false friends enter our lives and can cause a lot of harm if we don't detect and expel them from our circle in time.

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Protecting ourselves from these toxic relationships is key to maintaining our mental health. Psychologist Silvia Severino, who shares advice on TikTok as @silviaseverinopsico, has shared seven clues to spotting when someone is pretending to be our friend.

Constant flattery

The psychologist identifies the first sign as constant flattery, whether about physical appearance or personality. While it's natural for a friend to love us and express it, if they do so excessively, they may actually be doing so "to hide their true intentions."

In the good times (but not the bad)

A fake friend "only appears in the good times," when a true friendship should be there through thick and thin. In other words, they should be there to celebrate triumphs and enjoy happy moments, as well as to be there during sad times.

Telling your secrets

One of the greatest signs of loyalty is knowing how to keep a secret, protecting a friend's secrets as if they were your own. A person who tells our secrets isn't a true friend. "A real friend protects them. A fake one? They use them to gossip," the psychologist explains in her video.

Competition

The fourth sign that a friendship is fake lies in the dynamics of the relationship. One of the psychologist's tricks to detect if someone is pretending to be your friend is that they "compete with you." She said this is when "friendship becomes rivalry."

Personality changes

Many people find that their personality changes depending on the group they're in. This in itself isn't negative unless the way they treat others changes. Silvia added: "They're kind to you, but they're cold around others."

Using guilt to manipulate

Guilt is one of the oldest and most effective tools for emotionally blackmailing someone. A fake friend "uses guilt to manipulate you." Sometimes it can go unnoticed, but it shines through in phrases like, iIf you were my friend, you'd do this for me."

Talking behind your back

The last sign, and perhaps one of the clearest, is that they "speak ill of you behind your back." A true friend criticises you constructively to your face, with affection and respect. However, if it's a fake friend, "what they say doesn't match what they show in private."